So I went to work last night. It's broiling there, here, everywhere. Fucking all week it's been hovering in the upper nineties with roughly 85% humidity. In other words: DEATH (I'm a Mainer. I talk about weather, okay?) And I have been MELTING of OMFG TOO HOT all week.
Anyway. I was at work sweating my ass off scrubbing the filthy floor in the un-air-conditioned back of the store, ready to start things on fire with my brain. Then Faith, one of my co-workers, had to leave for a family emergency, so they stuck me up front as a clerk.
It mostly went well until this super hick couple comes in to buy cigarettes, candy, and beer. And the dude was being TOO friendly to me, I guess, because the chick felt the need to say aloud to her man thing: "If you didn't fuck around so much, you wouldn't have given me crabs!"