Friends Only. Comment to be added.

A Few Rules, If I may. >__>

1.) This IS my journal, therefore, I reserve the right to be an asshat in it if I want. However, I try not to do it often and if I do, I usually cut it. So feel free to ignore/skip my rants if you're uncomfortable with them.

2.) This journal uses filters. Mostly it's just for fandom stuff and wankage, so if you would like to be on either, let me know.

3.) I don't 'require' people to comment, because that's pushy. I figure, if you care enough to comment, you will. I'm not FORCING anyone to be my friend. If you want to comment, then do so, but don't feel an obligation to comment on everything I post. (and I post a lot)

4.) In concurrence with my previous rule, if you friend me, do not expect me to comment on all your entries. Often times, I have little to say, and I don't like repeating things other people have said. If I have something important to say, I'll comment. Also, I make lots of silly comments. I like to have fun. XD

5.) I post about fandom. A lot. And I don't filter it all. I only filter things that I'd rather not have IRL friends see and use against me. So if you're not big on FMA Supernatural, you will probably have to sift through my entries a bit.

6.) This journal is friends only. That means anything I write in here STAYS in here. Unless you have explicit permission from me, do not repost any of my entries/comments for others to see. Believe it or not, I have people I would like to stay hidden from on the internet and I don't appreciate people publicizing my thoughts and opinions. If you wanna quote something, just ask. Usually it won't be a problem.

7.) I friend a lot of people that I want to watch, whether it's because I think they're interesting or because I like their writing/art. Some of them do not friend me back. I don't mind this. Those of you that do. Thanks! However, if at any time you'd like to defriend me, for whatever reason. Go ahead. I don't have any qualms with it and I'm not going to hate you for it.

8.) If I say something that offends/upsets you, for the love of Dog PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME. Sometimes I don't think, or act when my head is not clear and more often than not, I have to stick my foot in my mouth. If you don't agree with something I said. LET ME KNOW. Otherwise I'm just going to continue to annoy you and not know anything's wrong. If it's something I believe in or don't see a problem with, I'm not guaranteed to stop just because you ask, but I'll at least be considerate of your opinions and will gladly state my case for anything I say here. And I'm not going to get mad if you call me on bullshit. Really. It'll take a lot to get me to de-friend you, so don't be afraid to give me your opinion. Really. I want to hear it.

9.) If you kick puppies, you are not welcome here. End of story.

That's about it. *shifty eyes* Anyone still here?

Couple stories for you. First, a mildly horrifying one.

A couple weeks back, we had the Harlem Globetrotters staying at the hotel. I happened to be cleaning the floor they were staying on. As I was stripping the bed in one particular room, I put my hand into a puddle of wetness. Upon lifting and inspecting my hand I find. Runny. White. OH HOLY FUCK.

Horrified. Appalled. Disgusted, I fucking teleport to the bathroom, I'm moving so fast. Then, scrubbing furiously wailing and swearing the whole time. When I'm sufficiently sanitized, I return to the room to discover that there's WAAAAY too much of it to be what I think it is, and soon after locate an empty bottle of whole milk.

Oh man will I ever be pissed if that shit happens for real. That's just grody. Like the bitch who left her used tampon applicators on the floor for me to pick up today. WTF?


And, I know I've mentioned the tip thing before, and I'd like to present you with a practical example of how much drama this crap causes.

Yesterday, I made $40 in tips, total. Considering some days I get nothing, that's a pretty good day for me. We were at work so late yesterday, the GM bought lunch for us, and so in a rare occurrence, all the housekeepers were in the same place at the same time. During this time, I decided I wanted a drink and therefore, pulled my wad of tips out of my back pocket to fish out a one.

Immediately, the other girls made a big deal about it. Roughly 25 of it was in ones, so it looked like a huge stack and they flat out asked me how much I got. So I told them. And they rabbled about what they got and blah blah.

TODAY, in another rare occurrence, Britt was scheduled to work at the HI, and on top of there being NO LAUNDRY to start with this morning, Britt got stuck with a ton of team rooms. Team rooms means no tips. And it's another big issue that our boss refuses to split them up evenly with everyone and just dumps them on a single person.

So Britt ended up with no tips and was consequentially pissed off about it. First thing in the morning, I'm knocking on doors and drift up to Third.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.
"Houskeeping!"
"Go away!"
"Okay I'll come back later!"

This is very typical. I have a love hate relationship with waking people up at 9 in the morning. On one hand, if I wake them, they're much likelier to get up and get the fuck out on time, making my life easier. On the other hand, you never know when you're going to get that guest from hell. I've had a few of those and they're NEVER fun. Guh.

I see Britt coming down the hallway, in tears. She's livid about something. She already hates the fucking job and getting no tips on top of getting stuck with dud rooms is, in all actuality, very frustrating and demeaning.

The way Brittany put it eloquently, this morning, was: "I clean your fucking toilets, the least you could do is leave me a goddamn DOLLAR."

Amen sister.

So she was upset. And we had nothing to do until the laundry got there. So we ended up in the housekeeping office, Britt proceeded to vent her frustrations. Theeeen Gi showed up. I dunno if I've spoken about Gi. I must have. She's the one I took the job from. You know.

Her main problem is that she's very nosy and tries to make everything going on in the hotel at any given time her business. It's obnoxious and she's already been bitched out by another girl who ended up screaming at her, "keep my fucking name outta your mouth."

Additionally, she likes to stir up trouble.

Today, she appearing in the housekeeping office while Britt was ranting. She however, did not see Gi, sitting with her back to the door, and Gi stood in the doorway silently, just listening in. I swear to god, she's got a drama radar and ended up there on purpose. What the fuck.

And I motioned to her to go away. Because it was a private conversation and she wasn't invited. She ignored me, even when I repeated my request. Mind you, technically, she *has* to listen to me, as I'm technically her boss. But we're not going to get into technicalities. Point is, she ignored me and barged in on the conversation and basically made Brittany feel like shit for being upset for a perfectly legitimate reason. (and if you think it's not, go work at a hotel for two weeks and I bet you'll change your mind.) And then proceeded to WHaaa Whaaa I Neeeever get tips blah diddy whine wail rabble bullshit. You know. Utter "pity me" crap, which she pulls ALL the time as a facade to cover up all the dirty backstabbing she does. Basically trying to belittled everyone's problems in order to try to make everyone pay attention to her own. The one-up syndrome, if you will.

Britt and I ended up walking out of the room and going back upstairs to get away from her. I - lucky me - was on the same floor as Gi. I made a pitstop on Britt's floor to have a word with her, and found Gi in the hallway when I got back to my cart. I, being my friendly self, attempt to at least behave civilly to her, because I don't have her life and I don't know her motivations and yeah, she's a bitch, but I have to work with her and I'm capable of making nice if I have to. So, just making a passing comment on my way into my room, I remarked:

"Man, she's heated." I chuckled a little, because I've developed a sense of humor concerning Britt's legendary temper. It's really the only way of dealing with it.

I didn't expect the conversation to go further, I really had no desire to talk about Britt behind her back. I went into my room and started cleaning. She FOLLOWED me into my room and proceeded to tell me,

"I think she's upset because she knows how much you got in tips yesterday."
"No. That's not it at all. That's not the only reason she's pissed off."

Which was true. Britt was also pissed about the laundry, and the team rooms, and the hellhole stayovers she ended up with. Plus, I don't like her making assumptions about shit and gossiping about it, ESPECIALLY to me. What the fuck. Hi, that's my roomate you're talking about, remember?

"Yeah, but you really shouldn't have done that yesterday. It really causes a lot of trouble and jealousy among the girls."

"Look, all I wanted to do was get a dollar for the fucking soda machine. Everyone else made a big deal of it."

"Yeah well you should count it in private and just say "oh I made some" but don't say how much. Because you made a lot of money and the other girls didn't and feelings get hurt. DON'T. It upsets people. Don't do it. Just don't do it. Don't."

"Gi, I didn't DO anything. Jesus. You're a fucking adult. Cry Moar."

Yes. I literally said that. And then she walked away and didn't say anything else. But I'm sorry, that's how I feel about it. Okay. We all have good tip days and bad tips days and I get fucking shafted with all the team rooms more often than anyone else at that fucking hotel. And when Gi says "It upsets people" it means, "It upsets Gi" because I know Brittany doesn't give a fuck. She just wants her *own* tips and Terry definitely doesn't give a fuck. She said to me yesterday, "damn girl! You made cake!"

Does that sounds upset to you? Does it?

No. Gi is the only one all butthurt about it.

So then laundry came and Britt and I were talking in the basement. And like as with Britt's temper, I've developed a sense of humor about the crazy shit that comes out of Gi's mouth on a regular basis. I guess that's just how I deal with things.

So, personally, though I was mildly miffed about her trying to blame me for Britt being upset, I mostly thought it was funny, and thought Britt might think it was funny too. Normally, she would have. Today, however, was not the day, and it had the opposite desired effect. Instantly, Britt was bristling like an offended predator, thirsty for a fight.

Whoops. My bad. That's what I get for gossiping.

So I convince Brittany NOT to go pick a fight with her but she wants to quit and go home. So Monica finds me and she sends me to talk to Britt while she talks to Gi. Apparently, my managerial duties include peacekeeping. Too bad I inadvertently caused the drama. >_>

So I told Britt, "Monica's EXACT words were 'Tell Britt: Don't listen to Gi, she's CRAZY. She can't leave, we need her to stay."

So I sweet talk Britt into staying and meet up with Monica in the elevator and told her flat out, "keep Gi away from Brittany unless you want an epic bitchfight on your hands."

She laughed, but I was dead serious. Britt was still rearing to go. Flat out.

And to think, all of this could have been avoided if more people thought to leave even just a single dollar for their housekeeper's troubles. Think of it as paying for the privilege of being able to throw garbage on the floor and towels on the furniture and spill crumbs in the bed and sugar on the desk and whatever other mess you want to make that you can't make at home and have someone else clean up after you. Isn't that alone worth a dollar?

I should really be in bed now. I really shouldn't be so amused by all this drama, since I get to deal with whatever fallout there may be tomorrow. Buuuuh.

1. Forgot to mention. Went to Bangor yesterday. Got a new jacket, which is awesome. I haven't had a new one in about 4 years, and the lining is all shredded and full of holes and the pockets are torn. It's dry clean only. BUH. So, I got a new one and promised my mom I'd take my old one to get fixed and cleaned. Which, I should considering it's an Anne Klein and probably the most expensive article of clothing I own. (Not that I paid that much for it.) I know that's a shitty reason, but I see it as it's a *nice* *useful* thing, and I appreciate the use I've gotten from it and I'd like to keep getting use of it. *shrug* I dunno. I got distracted.

Because I don't know if there's anyone in the SPN fandom on my flist that hasn't heard esbeani's fansongs, but if you haven't than you should go there IMMEDIATELY and listen. (My favorite is I Would Have Done.)

I have them all on my ipod and they are ...chilling, haunting, fucking heartbreaking. Simple folk songs with little more than a guitar, but the lyrics will twist your heart out and stomp it into teeny tiny pieces and make you ache for those goddamned boys in no way you've ached before. Oh man. I literally had to *stop* listening so I could type this.

Oh I hope this girl makes an album someday. Then SPN would kinda be on par with Harry Potter and all its wizard rock. :p Then again, Little House on the Prairie has a tribute band too. >__> Don't ask me how I know that.

So, what else. Oh yes. Dropped Murphy off at Best Buy, which I've been meaning to do since I used him for discus practice. They said that they'd try to fix it, but they'd most likely junk it. Which means *NEW LAPTOP* *shing! sparkle sparkle* My parents are glad they got me that drop policy (which runs out next month) but I'm insisting firmly that I'm making sure I'm getting *full use* of it. Stick it to the man any way you can.

Got an odd job to do tomorrow, which is great. Can get a jump start on paying January's rent, which I have to make up for when I get home and is already a week late. No biggie though. It's not like it's not getting paid. I just have to pay Joe back. Which, he understands and is good like that.

Good news is, I've regained a fond appreciation for my roomates. I mean, really some of the stuff that annoys me is just me being cranky. Three things happened to change that. 1) license. I won't be stranded at home if they decide to take off somewhere. 2) My birthday coming up. While I don't want to go bar hopping, it will be nice to be on par with them. 3) Perspective. I've had a chance to be away and I've decided that Rhode Island isn't so terrible. And that I do miss Britt and Joe. They're my friends, y'know? And despite my complaining sometimes, it's just venting so I don't snap at them. We *do* have fun together. Besides that, Maine is fucking COLD right now. I want O-U-T out. I'm shivering right the fuck now.

Holy shit this thing is long.

Plus, I miss my jobby. I miss smoking pot indoors. I miss my bed. I miss porn. (tmi, I know. Whatev. I *do*) Strangely, I even miss cooking for roomies. I miss my KITTIES. So bad. As much as Cooper's poor training bothers me (the clotheslining incident today, for example) I can't stop myself from CUDDLING him. I feel *bad* he tries *SO* hard to be a good boy. And I know if my parents would *LISTEN* to me he could be a *really good dog* But he's so fucking CONFUSED. He doesn't know what to do. And I've kinda given up interfering because I'm pretty sure it annoys dad, but he's the worst one. God. I dunno. He's my dad, but he needs a serious wake up call. Like, Victora Stilwell is doing casting call for It's Me or the Dog and I keep fantasizing about signing them up for it so she can whip them into shape. But mum would never forgive me for putting her on national television. :F (but could you imagine? OMFG Victoria Stilwell. I just want to hug her. She's so fucking sexy-adorable. *geek*)

Mum bought some grapes today and I recently found out they fed Cooper grapes once (OMFG *FACEPALM*) so I ran around the house telling all of the kids very very sternly they were not allowed to feed him grapes. And I even gave a *sternlook* to dad about it because apparently *he* did it first.

You guuuuuys. My *PARENTS* are SPOs. D: This makes me so saaaaaad.

Dear god, how much more can I talk about?

No, I think I'm done. I think that's enough, though I'm sure I'll think of more in the future. I always do. XD

Also. here's a dog and bunny double act. Awesome video. SO CUTE

Okay. It's that time again. IP logging is OFF, anon comments are ON, be vicious if you need to, just be honest. Say what you need to say to me. I can take it.

[EDIT] okay NOW it's unlocked. My bad for the mix-up. Have at it.

Today's lesson concerns proper check-out procedure.

Okay. Listen up folks. When you stay at a hotel, you have a little thing called a check-out time. Usually, it's 11 AM or noon. My hotel, it's 11.

Therefore, it is standard, and proper to check out AT 11 or any time before. Not 20 minutes after 11, CERTAINLY not an hour later.

If this isn't good for you, you can speak with the front desk and request a late check-out. If you ARE going to do this, do it the NIGHT BEFORE, because otherwise, your housekeeper won't know and she will knock on your door, and it will be YOUR fault, so don't you dare get pissy at her because she's doing her goddamn JOB.

FYI, there's a DND (do not disturb) sign on the back of EVERY door. If you don't want someone knocking on your door 4 times in one day, USE IT. Otherwise, you just look like an asshole who doesn't know how to properly utilize the resources the hotel has provided for you. I promise you, your housekeeper will be grateful.

Regarding late check-outs: Yeah, I get it, it happens. Sometimes you need that extra hour. But don't ask for a late check-out so you can sit around and watch tv in your room. And DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT ask for a 12:30 check-out and then, come 12:30, find your way back to the front desk and tell them, "oh well, I meant to say 2:00"

Don't, okay? Just don't. There is NOTHING more obnoxious for a housekeeper than to be finished with the work for the day, with the exception of ONE ROOM. Because you know what happens then? WE SIT AROUND AND *WAIT* FOR YOU TO GET YOUR ASS OUT.

I waited for a room for TWO HOURS today, only to have the front desk tell me their check-out time was pushed back ANOTHER two hours.

Now, when you check out of your room, the following things should at least be taken into consideration. If you have any common decency for the hardworking blue-collar folks, you can actually *heed* this advice:

- Don't make the beds. I know it makes you feel like you're helping somehow, but I promise you're not. If you have to do anything to the bed, take the sheets off and leave them in the middle. Otherwise, just leave it. Seriously.

- Don't leave logs floating in the toilet. That's just gross. Come ON. How juvenile are you?

- Don't throw away the stuff that came in the room. This means the no smoking signs, the tip envelopes, the menus on the backs of the doors. LEAVE THAT STUFF ALONE IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE FOR GOD'S SAKE. That stuff is not usually on our carts and it means a trip all the way back to the housekeeping base on a wild search to find a new one. Just leave it alone and don't throw it in the garbage and then throw gross shit on top of it.

- DON'T STEAL THE HALLWAY FURNITURE. That table BELONGS there and it is NOT YOURS. LAY DOWN. BAD GUEST, BAD. (Yeah, this actually DOES happen on a regular basis. I can't tell you how often our hallway table disappears and then turns up in a room)

- Don't leave your shit. This one is for you, because I will openly admit that housekeepers LOOOOOVE lost and found. I know I do. I know I fight with the other housekeepers over the treasure chest that is the lost and found bin. So if you leave something good, chances are you will NOT get it back. If you don't claim shit (usually after a month) it WILL be gone. I guarantee.

- When you leave, and you're walking down the hallway, DON'T FUCKING TOUCH THE MAID'S CARTS. You're playing Russian roulette if you do, because 1 out of every 6 housekeepers will BITE YOUR HEAD OFF if you touch their shit. It's all in order and it's all NEEDED and we don't appreciate it when you hijack all our fucking towels, thank you very much. If you need some more, ASK. So unless you want to deal with underpaid, overworked RAGE, hands off. Okay? Got it? Got it.

- If you get up in the morning and you decide you want to go to breakfast (or whatever you wanna do) before you leave town, don't pack your shit up and then LEAVE it in the room. Take it with you. PLEASE. It makes my job easier and I won't feel the need to camp outside your door so I can glare menacingly at you in order to make you feel like the asshole you're being if you do that.

- Tip. For GOD'S SAKE. If you were satisfied with the sanitation of your room, spare a braincell for the person who did that for you. Leaving less than a dollar in change is insulting, but I'm happy if people leave me a DOLLAR, so it doesn't take much. But until you've done it, you won't know how disheartening it is to clean 12 check-outs when not ONE of them leaves a tip. Seriously. It's only a dollar or two for you - less than you'd give to your waitress at any restaurant, certainly - but it's a good 10% of MY income. So if you're happy with your room, show your housekeeper some love. They're some of the most hardworking, back-busting people out there.

- This one is worth repeating, so I'm gonna. This is for all hotel guests ever. Whether you're a stayover or a check-out. Say it with me. D. N. D. IF YOU DO NOT WANT SOMEONE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR, PUT YOUR DAMN DND SIGN UP.

(And let me pause here to give you the inside scoop on how DNDs work. DNDs are to be honored at all costs for housekeepers. With stayovers, we'll stay way the fuck away from your room if you leave it up and we won't bother you. So if you like your privacy, put it up. With check-outs, it'll keep you safe until check-out time. After check-out has passed, housekeepers ARE allowed to knock on your door, DND or not. And believe me, we will.)

Which reminds me. If you're checking out? Take that shit down. It's very confusing to have a DND on an empty room, because then we think you're still in there and it's just obnoxious when you're waiting forever for a room only to learn it was vacated hours ago.

I think that's all I have for now. I'm all ranted out. So there you go. How to make a housekeeper love you, all in one neat little package. So you know. next time you find yourself in a hotel, just MAYBE think a LITTLE about this stuff and don't be one of THOSE guests, because I'll tell you what happens to THOSE guests.

The housekeepers wipe out your ice-buckets and sinks with the same rag they just used to clean your toilet. That's what.

Not all of them do that, but there's one in every hotel and you never know if *that* housekeeper just so happens to be YOUR housekeeper. MMMkay?

In similarly related news, I need a hotel/housekeeping tag. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Tommy Boy it is. Because sometimes, I actually *DO* do the housekeeping voice and sometimes - if I know you're not in there - you even get the "you want me jerk you off?" part. XDD

OBAAAAAAAAAAAAAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL YOUR MOTHERFUCKING BASE ARE BELONG TO PRESIDENT OBAMA. SCORE ONE FOR AMERICA. I STILL HAVE HOPE!

I am so relieved. And excited as fuck! brainrat, how is your pizza?!

AUGH. Okay, so I've been AGONIZING over this phone call I'm supposed to make RIGHT NOW since yesterday when I found out I had to make said phone call.

(It's not normal, I know, but telephones stress me out. A LOT. A lot a lot a lot.)

AND THE PHONE IS DEAD AND NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WHAT IS GOING ON WHY HAVE I BEEN AWAKE SINCE FIVE WHY CAN'T ANYTHING GO THE WAY IT'S SUPPOSED TO? WHY PHONES?


AUUUUUUUUUGH.

[EDIT] Okay problem solved. But do you see what phones do to me? I don't know why, but they are so INTIMIDATING. I just want to shrivel up and die whenever I have to call someone I don't know that well.

Talking to friends is okay. But calling strangers? Acquaintances? Businesses? FREAKS ME THE FUCK OUT. Why? Seriously?

“The loneliness you get by the sea is personal and alive. It doesn't subdue you and make you feel abject. It's stimulating loneliness.” - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Went back to the rocks. This is officially my favorite place in Rhode Island thus far. I never knew I longed for the sea until I lived near its shores.



( You love to win, I dare to lose )

With thanks to Brittany (bleedthefreak87) for being my impromptu model.

Well fuck.

Five minutes before work...I have lost my glasses.

I swear, I'd lose my own head if it weren't attached to me.

WHAT THE FUCK? WHERE ARE THEY?

So this has been my toy for the week:



( Snow adventures! )

Am I the world's biggest retard or what? Voting is in NOVEMBER. WTF? Since when do people vote in February?

Seriously. I feel really dumb for being confused about the state of my flist today. All these demands to go vote. *boggles*

Have I mentioned that I have never in my life watched the news?

Okay. Anyways. I'm not voting today. I'm going to the animal shelter. Call me in November so I can vote for Clinton. Yep. Cause guess what? Obama has no experience and he comes on yelling about change and all that. Yeah. That's all well and good and whatever, but our government is an intrinsic, delicate machine and you can't just go all willy-nilly ripping out parts and expecting it to still work.

Sorry, but I'd like someone who knows what the fuck they're doing. And yeah. No matter how many fucking blow jobs Bill got in the oval office, he was still a damn good president and he never would have been if he hadn't had the support of his wife.

Um yeah. I'm voting for a woman president. But not today. BECAUSE VOTING IS IN NOVEMBER. Freaks.

I just got spoiled for 3x12 and first off, I'm pissed that I got spoiled and secondly...

I feel like crying now. ;_;

Feeling like death warmed over, mostly. Going back to bed now. I was at work for five hours today and did nothing but watch Supernatural on my laptop, text people, and broadcast Rush throughout the studio. Hahaha. I had one phone call and NO physical customers the whole time I was there. :F

It was like being at home except no internet and no comfortable chairs.

( One more spoilery thought )

Party at Louis' place tomorrow night. I wanted to make pot brownies, but unless the mailman is very nice tomorrow, it's not gonna happen. =|

So uh. Yeah. I'll be over here watching the new episode on a loop or something.

First of all, sharpwind, I got your card today and it is the most adorable thing EVER. Thank you so much. Your words mean a lot and you don't know how gleeful I am that someone finally remembered that I don't celebrate Christmas!! <333

Second of all, things at work have improved vastly and I'm actually starting to make friends. Everyone in the portrait studio wants to go have a tattoo party so we can get discounts. Rob asked me to draw his tattoo for him. He wants some sort of tribal lizard, so I'm looking up real lizards and tribal designs right now, for references.

I met the girl that works in Optical last night. She came over as I was closing by myself and was like "do you smoke anything other than cigarettes?" and I was like "lol do you mean pot?" and she asked me if she knew where she could buy some, so I set her up with a bag from Matt and she hung out here and matched with us. She said she'd bring her husband over sometime, and that I'd like him a lot. So I'm excited and so proud of myself.

I made a friend entirely under my own steam. And if you don't know me that well, then you don't know how extraordinarily RARE that is. So \o/

Matt is on his way over to burn with me right now and I have to work at 5. Today was my day off, but Renee came over and asked me to cover her shift because her sister just had a baby and it's her first time being an aunt, and it's only a three hour shift and I'm way too nice a person to exist, therefor, I am working at 5. Woo.

Today was adventure in mistaken alarm clock panic. All is well now, but my hair is frizzy.

Kaylie and Loius are here, spending the night. The pull-snorting boys Nikki invited over are gone, thankfully. Oy.

I need braincells

My entire immediate family. Told you there were lots of us. :p

Today was an adventure in taxi cabs and discovering when work isn't nauseatingly busy, it's not half-bad.

I made a friend in the vacuums department that comes to talk to me on breaks. It's cool it's cool.

looooooooooong day tomorrow, but snow means cancellations. Or so Matt says.

Speaking of matt. HE HAS CATS. THE FUCKER HAS CATS. These apartments are strictly pet free. I have to have written permission to have my fish, which I don't. AND HE HAS CATS. Dude. I could have had a kitten months ago. I'm so tempted to go to the humane society tomorrow. I want a kitty. But I won't until I know where me and britt are going to be moving to. I would hate to get one only to move to a no pet building.

That's just stupid and irresponsible. But yes. Hopefully, getting a dog soon. <3

I've been thinking. I can't really justify the crazy urges that I'm experiencing at the moment. Mainly, that I just want to hop a plane TODAY and get a temp job and live in a hotel until I can get settled in Cali.

I *know* that's stupid, but it was just to give you some inkling of how strange and intense my longing to be on the West coast truly is.

What's SMART is planning. Which is what I've been thinking about. And I think I've come up with a tentative plan.

Right now, there are few things holding me here in Maine.

A) money
B) Brittany (cause I don't want to abandon her)
c) Lindsey (who also wants to move to Cali)

So I've also been thinking about going back to school, which I want to do in the fall of next year. And I also want one more summer in Maine, because I can't leave without going to at least one more festival at Harry Brown's.

So my thoughts at the moment are to do this move rationally. I'm going to stay in Maine for the winter and the summer and then in the fall, I'll enroll in a college in Cali.

My heart doesn't want to wait that long. But I think it's going to be the only way. It's either that or just up and disappearing one day when my wanderlust gets too strong and I can't help myself anymore.

Because part of me just wants to go somewhere where no one knows who I am and no one I love knows where I am. I just.... everything that's been working for me for these last few years, all these friends I've had and lost...it's not working anymore. It's not working for me that I lost my best friend. It's not working for me that I work a job that I hate to live in a house with a roomate I hate (not Britt)

When the only thing I want is to be in California.

I won't do it. I have one chance at life, and I can't *can't* waste it being unhappy. I can't. It will ruin me.

I want I want I want. Oh god, do I want. Christ. Someone tell me that it's stupid to be rash about this. Someone slap my fingers away from the keyboard, since I'm looking at plane tickets.

In other news, I'm taking a brief fandom hiatus until shit at work slows down, cause right now, I'm working lots of overtime and I'm barely going to have time to take a shower and eat, let alone do anything for entertainment.

Once the Christmas season is over, I'll be back.

And speaking of Christmas. Fuck Christmas. Don't fucking tell me merry Christmas, customers, I fucking hate you all. Every time you say Merry Christmas to me, I am going to respond with a "Happy Yule" to you. because THE HOLIDAYS ARE NOT A MONOPOLY. Fuck you. Got eat a bag of dicks. And, oh yeah, SANTA DOES NOT EXIST.

And I'd like to SEE the day Matt and Rob try to tell me not to. Because the instant they do, I will walk the fuck out of there. That's religious intolerance, bitches. And that shit is ILLEGAL.